Ashna Agarwal
Student, Lilavatibai Podar Senior Secondary School

My Short Stories and Poems


C’EST LA VIE


He sat on his porch on a rickety old  armchair, staring at the subtle blue waves as they threw themselves on the clean sandy coast of  Hawaii. He looked at the strong water waves as they took with them the baked sand and pebbles from the defiant coasts. He watched the waves trying  incessantly to wipe off the coast every piece of dignity. The waves trying to gobble down all the honor and glow of the beach so that only the flow can prevail.  Only to  later, return all it snatched as though admitting defeat. This battle was pleasing in its own way to him for there is no way the light sand is more powerful than the huge gushes of water and yet, the one who stood the longest without breaking over a battle, won the war. He could feel sweat running down his cheek but not even the scorching sun could take this moment away from him. The humidity did not seem to overpower the feel of the cool breeze slashing across his face. The trees seemed to sway perfectly as if in a trance and the world seemed to pause but just for a moment or two while he simply sat, staring at the sight ahead of him letting the scene play itself out. There is no possible way to describe this experience fairly and these words are understatements but, he felt joy. It was maybe all a man could ever wish for, peace. His suitcase lay  empty on the side table while he was trying to make the best out of the last few moments of serenity. He looked at his bag and imagined everything that the near future might hold. He sighed and filled the bag with his hopes, thoughts, and high expectations.  Although he was more hesitant than ever, he could not help but dream about the next destination written in his destiny. It could be swamps or the farm fields or even a steep climb up the mountains, he was ready to run and fall , jump and leap but not stall or worse sleep. The scene in front of him was pure form of heaven but you cannot stay still forever even if being there was your dream for dreams have a way of unfolding as quickly as a story in the disguise of yet another challenge. There is no satisfaction in the fulfilled but happiness in the craving . His heart was still young and so was his desire, the desire to travel which was carved deep in his skin, running through his blood. He might have already seen the best but even the worst teach us lessons, especially lessons of appreciation and true humanity. He looked back to see all he was leaving behind but that did not stop him. There is nothing stronger than curiosity and it must be so for the better or worse. The peaceful memories of the ocean crept behind him as he shut the door on one chapter of his life while beginning the next.

SHE


With a roaring sound she blew,
Over the waves tainted blue,
Across forest, between the fields,
From land to land
A bachelorette open to all to woo.

She wore on her a perfume of sweet blossoms
She brought down shower of grace
But of her qualities, so pure and true
Was a playful ming so fickle and new.

There were days of darkness,
Her walk so cold
She crept along the aim streets,
Her aura so very, drying away untold

Then were the days of innocence and joy
Her face glowing bright,
Hoping along the street,
Knowing no brought, her joy took flight.

She had the beauty of nature,
Singing from every falling strand of her auburn hair,
Radiating front her snow white tone
And screaming from the broad warm smile she wore.

Her daughter bloomed the flowers,
Her anger raged the waves,
She was welcomed in the house of many,
An a pleasant morning with a cup of warm tea,
But torment was her middle name
Although soothing was her first,
Scanning the house, she stud along
Blowing the windows and doors out
His gift of influence was curse of sorts,
Yet her calm a moment to cherish.

FLAWS


SHE LOOKED UP,
LOOKING AS STERN AS SHE MIGHT EVER BE.
THINKING THEY WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE.

LONG HISTORY AND FOREVER MOANED TRAGEDY.
FINALLY IT WAS TIME TO FACE REALITY .
HOW LONG COULD IT BE MADE TO WORK
WHEN ALL IT DID WAS IRK.

IRK THE PATIENCE,
FIRE THE ARROGANCE.
IGNORED BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS A HESITANCE.

FOUGHT FOR IT,
DROWNED IN IT,
RESISTANT BUT FINALLY QUIT IT.
FILLED WITH AGONY AND PAIN
WONDER WHETHER THEY WOULD EVER BE THE SAME.

LIFE GAVE THEM STONES TO JUMP ON
BUT ALSO HANDS TO HOLD ON
EACH OTHER TO PULL STRENGTH FROM
BUT GREED STILL TOOK OFF

THEY MIGHT HAVE SURVIVED .
NOT BLINDLY DIVED
INTO THE EARNEST CYCLE OF LIFE.
LEARN TO LIVE, LEARN TO FIGHT
NOT FALL AND CRASH IN NO LIGHT.

ALTHOUGH, RESPECT WAS STILL UNDERSTOOD
FOR AT THE START IT WAS SHARED LOVE
CLOSER ONCE ,DIVIDED NEXT
AWAY WAS FOR THE BEST
BOTH WERE HAPPY FOR THEY KNEW THE OTHER WAS

IT NEVER REALLY FADES
STRONG WILL IS ALL IT TAKE
WILL ENOUGH TO OVERLOOK THE FLAWS,
FORGIVE THE WRONGS AND MOVE ON.

FALLING DOWN, RISING UP


IT’S WHAT WE WANT
NOT WANT WE NEED
DEEP IN OUR HEARTS
ITS CALLED EVERY MANS DREAM
DREAM OF RICHES
DREAM OF SUCCESS
DREAM OF FAME
BUT ALAS THE FANTASIES TAME

FOR FAITH SHATTERS
PATIENCE NO LONGER WAITS
FOR THE DREAMY AIDS
WE ALL HOPE TO GAIN

FEAR OF FAILING BRINGS US DOWN
PULLS US BACK TO THE BARREN GROUND
FAILURE IS NOT SO YOU HELPLESSLY DROWN
BUT SO YOU TRY AGAIN WITHOUT AN ARROGANT CROWN

IT PULLS YOU CLOSER
TO THE DESIRED WILL
LIKE BUMPS ON A ROAD
ON THE WAY TO THE HILL
ITS NEVER STRAIGHT ,ITS NEVER FAST
BUT YOU WILL REACH YOUR GOAL AT LAST

THE DECISION IS TO RIDE ALONG
OR FALL BACK TO THE HOODS
STAY TRAPPED WITHIN THE KNOWN GOODS
CHANGE IS WHAT WE FEAR
WHEN THAT’S WHAT TAKES US NEAR

A CHANGE OF PATHS
SMOOTH TERRAINS TO TYRANT WRATH
FLOWER GARDENS TO THORNY BUSHES
SCENT OF FRESH BREAD TO PANTS AND PUSHES

WHEN THE NEXT DAY IS AS CLEAR AND LIT
AS THE ABANDONED GLOOMY CAVE
AND YOUR FUTURE AS UNCERTAIN
AS THE MONSTROUS SHOWERS OF RAIN

GIVE OUT NOR DESPAIR NOR PITY
IT IS A CHANCE TO WRITE YOUR OWN TALE
FOR YOUR DESTINY PRESENTLY FICKLE
WILL BY YOUR TERMS SET SAIL

CHOOSE TO WORK HARD
NOT MORE BUT SMART
THE CLIMB UP THE STAIRS
IS ONLY A HESITANT START
THE RIPPLES DO NOT LAST FOREVER
THERE IS GOING TO BE HAPPILY EVER.

A WALK DOWN THE MEMORY LANE..


And suddenly his whole life flashed right before his eyes. The smells he loved, the moments he could not let go, every sight he cherished, all stood there staring at him, piercing his eyes as they shook in disbelief. The scenes were reeling in front of him like movie clips, clearly described to every last detail; it was almost as if he was in fact re-living his life. He could feel his feet leaving the surface as he took his first leap back in time. Gaining momentum, he flew across flashes of memories only to fall before one.

He had gleefully gone back to the time he was this little kid learning to ride his bicycle, he could feel the touch of his late mother’s hands on his sweaty shoulders. He remembered the smell of the wheat fields and the fresh breeze of that spring morning. He felt his fear of falling as a little kid. He remembered telling his mother to hold on as she stealthily let go. Deep within, he knew this was not real but he anyway let the scenes play themselves out. He felt all of the little excitements and joys he had encountered during his childhood. It was a drug, all that joy.

But soon he felt the next major milestone in his life as he flew across the diverse phases of childhood. The stage of remorse. His mind raced back instantly. He saw a man and a young boy, this scene reminded him of one of his most regretful memories. The two characters were fighting aggressively. He already guess the topic of discussion. The duo were fighting over the young man’s decision to become a musician running wild on the streets of the city while the older man was pushing him towards a more rewarding or creditable path. He watched them fight, he tried to stop them but in vain. They passed though him. He was there but only he knew that. He saw the boy push against the man and run up the stairs towards his room. He stayed back to look at the man in the play, for some reason he knew what the boy was going through after that big fight. It was almost like he had seen this scene halfway before, he never knew what happened to the man. He stopped to watch the man raging in agony, doubting himself.But he heard the man whisper to the almighty,”It is not his fault,he is but a kid.God help him follow the right path, keep him safe”.

Then suddenly, the sight in front of him changed itself. For a few countable seconds, everything in front of him vanished. He was covered in velvety darkness. When suddenly behind him, he heard the sound of a door opening. He turned to see a small wooden door in front of which stood two new characters, a lady who looked much like his mother in the 1990’s and the boy from earlier. He saw a tall man entering from the door..He was wearing a thick coat, a vintage hat and was holding a suitcase. There was a tag on the suitcase, it read,”ARMY”. It was bad news. As soon as he saw this man, he knew. He recalled the exact words that came out of the man’s mouth “He is dead”. He saw the man walking towards him. He handed the suitcase and walked himself out, closing the door behind.The man did not wait to see the consequences of his words for that was simply not his job nor was it his concern. The man simply left, disappearing in the stormy weather outside.It was not the man’s business but moaning over the dead is never questioned.He felt the weight of his mother hanging on him as she cried her heart out. He felt the tight grip and a kind of intense shock. He remembered standing there before, his eyes fixed at the door just like now , praying that the man would return and tell them it was not true,praying that this was a dream. He remembered his mother patting him as a sign of protection as his vision became blur from all the tears than ran down the cheeks of the eighteen year old boy who stood there once. He knew,the boy was his younger self.

He could not watch anymore, he could not yet again bare the gravity of the pain that he had encountered at such a ripe age, he could not afford to see the time he fought to find a reason to live. The day that guilt filled his veins for there is a reason that a man joins the army barring the risk, a reason that the men decide to shut themselves from their world. He had run away, didn’t he? Wasn’t he the first to run from argument a few months ago and then he who shut him off leaving him to the disposal of his country and now , the man was dead. He shut his eyes hoping it would all disappear and it did. He slowly opened his eyelids to be caught off guard by a little too much light being flashed in his direction. He twitched and blinked hard to see a figure, wearing a brown-green uniform and shoving his face in his. “Soldier are you alright?”,the man asked breathing a sigh of relief,”you have been shot, can you hear me? Are you fine?”He slowly opened his mouth to barely but calmly say the words,”Yes but only for the prayers of my father who was determined to keep me safe. He went for me didn’t he? It was me who was called for service not he, he loved me if only I could show the same……”.

EVEN ANGELS BREAK…


She sat still on the cold ground. Her head tucked in between the cover of her swollen legs. Trails of blood flowing down from the dreaded scratches on her bony legs. Droplets poured down the window pane as did the pity tears running down her pale cheeks. All the colors of life had been swiped away from her once glowing face, leaving behind only the darkness of black. She lay on the ground almost lifeless with no word, no sound. Her numb hands thrown across her body shielding her scarred thoughts from any more devils. Her face bowed down to see just the stained wooden tiles. Her sorry eyes running wide places looking for but mercy and redemption for what she had done. Unable to meet the sight of her own shadow, she sat . Crying within herself, holding back all the screeches and screams pushing out of her. It was worse the ill effect of false hope that sucked all the life out of her. Her angelic smile beaten to bleeding lips.Her wings of hope torn apart alongside her caring heart. All that was left were shreds and memories. Memories of life and of hell. Memories of her disability to move from the secretive position in her wretched room. All the windows were shattered so were her expectations. The wallpapers ripped apart like her dreams. The light bulb twitched as did her meaning of life. Only if her present was not her future! All the problems, misunderstandings, puzzles that seemed so devious seemed to suddenly sort itself out. All the paths that lead her to hell’s gate appeared crystal clear now. Regret filled her, the influence betrayed her.She was drowning in her own tears of pain and sorrow. Misguided then for once, abandoned now forever………

WE COULDN’T WAIT GROW UP SO MUCH THAT WE FORGOT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO STAY..


Bicycles turned to cars.Playing outdoors turned to chatting online. Laughing turned to mocking. Sleepovers turned to raggings. Timeouts became detentions.

Remember when dad’s shoulders where the highest point on Earth and mom was your hero? Race issues were who was the fastest and war was only board games. The time when reaching the topmost elevator button was the toughest competition with your siblings. The worst thing you did was put all your vegetables back in the bowl when no one was looking.

When I was younger, I’d hide under my mom’s blanket and sleep there so that my dad couldn’t find me to wake me up for school and although i hid there everyday and now i realize my dad definitely knew where i was hiding, he would act like he was looking for me everywhere and couldn’t find me while i lay there listening to him, knowing he wouldn’t find me for like five more minutes. I had that one pen with four different ink colors and would try pushing all the buttons at once.The time when i would wait behind my door to scare my parents when they came back home from work.I used to fake being asleep so that mom and dad would let me sleep in their room or so they would carry me to mine.When I used to try to step only on the black tiles while walking. And maybe I was like any other kid but everything from my eyes was special and unique especially my mirror image. I used to laugh till tears came out of my eyes and I sure do remember all the donkey and piggy back rides. I used to sing in the shower and now I make my life’s decisions there.

Remember the days when the only pain you felt was when you scraped your knees.The only drama was the chocolate tantrums. The goodbyes were only until tomorrow. Every time your mom would kiss you on your cheek, you would puff up your cheeks and say,”mom. I’m big girl now” .And when we couldn’t even wait to grow up.

But maybe I do not want to go back because I know I would have to repeat what comes after those amazing days eventually.

THE LIFE OF A FARMER


The heroes of our nation, the most important of the lot,
Their existence marks ours; they’re Gods of some sort.
Tirelessly, they work all day and they work all night,
Feeding states across the map, and dealing with heavy family plight.
They rise with the sun, and exert till their arms can be strong,
They can’t quit a task till it’s accomplished to its best, keeping up however long.

They provide us that necessity for life, without which one can’t stay,
They sleep on an empty stomach, after working for the entire day.
Just, they aren’t worshiped; no one offers them gold,
And for all the little costs they set on food, double of which in the market there sold.

But, that is what he does,
Along with duties for the nation, protecting their families with no armor,
Being a common man of the country, that is the life of a farmer.

He awoke one morning, with Great Spirit and smile,
All set to stain his palms in the loam, precious and fertile.
His wife pats his back, as he goes passed, and some play in the hay.
He begins with his daily errands, vigorously he goes on,
Then he checks the growth of the old ones, appreciating the wheat and corn.

A break for lunch needs, and definitely deserves I’d say,
Missing the company of his wife and children, he takes his only big meal of the day.
As time passes, the sun rolls down the sky,
He sets out for the home, as he wipes the trickling sweat droplet from near his eye.

Having their father reach home, all excitement shall arouse,
He is welcomed with a warm hug, for being the hero of the house.
He lay on the ground, as he listened to his children fight,
Fighting over a painful cause, who’s chance, was it to eat tonight.
A tear rolled down the eye of his wife, as she said faking a laugh,
“What’s the argument about, my darlings I shall divide it into half.”
A solution for the day was found, but how long will this last.

Not forever can the starved parents, continue with their pretentious fast.
But, that is what he does,
Along with duties for the nation, protecting their families with no armor,
Being a common man of the country, that is the life of a farmer.

The monsoon rains were almost there,
For a farmer this brings nervousness in the air.
What if it doesn’t rain, he thinks.
Then avoids these ideas, to cause no jinx
It rained all night, in a frightening way,
Nature’s fury turned the rainbows grey.
The sound of the water, made him lose sleep that night,
Early next morning he reached his field, and witnessed a blood-curdling sight.

The crops were washed away, not one was alive,
He pulled his hair out and asked, “Oh God, how will my family survive”
He stood there in dismay, his mind too chocked for thought,
This had caused more damage, than his fear of a drought.
He knows he has stomachs to feed, he could not give up so soon,
He told himself to start again, and work till the rise of the moon.
He ignored the devastating fears that happened to cross his mind,
The courage to hold yourself up, is what in a true hero you find.
He returned home when it was dark, and did not utter to many words,
By now all the men of his ilk, had got used to hazards.
But, that is what he does,
Along with duties for the nation, protecting their families with no armor,
Being a common man of the country, that is the life of a farmer.
The burden of taxes, and the cost of hunger,
The wealth of the farmer, the markets which plunder,
Determination and hard work, could not change much,
The family lost their appetite, the conditions were such,
The food they cry for, are wasted in towns,
Beyond all the spoilt city children, there are rural life frowns.
Pressure to earn, from all direction it comes,
The suffering households surviving, on barely few crumbs.
Just because they’re poor, does not mean they don’t mind depriving their
Families of mirth,
But sadly, their troubles are at greater extremes, because of a less privileged birth.

Too many thoughts crowding his mind, the hero begins to turn weak,
All the hopes and optimism, is now floating down the creek.
No choice left in hand, all he finds is despair,
Hunger had reached the greatest limits, and sadness beyond compare.
He walks one night, to an old tree; he didn’t have much faith, to look before
He’d leap’
He tied a rope, on the branch sticking out, with a hole in the middle for his head,
He tightened it around his neck, as his cheeks began to turn blood red.
He apologized to his loved ones, for taking such a step in pain,
He thought he had no option left, except for this impulsive bane.
He thanked God for the his years, and cried for giving up on the happiness of his children and wife.
He kicked the rock and died right there, having a final farewell with life.
But, that is what he ends up doing,
Burdened with the duties for the nation, protecting their families with no armor,
Being a common man of the country, that is the death of a farmer.

ETERNITY


In the house of the mourned
She stood head bowed down and erects isolate silently
Hands together eyes closed singing the peaceful song of death,
Remembering every memory shared and promise kept
She wept alone on the floor, she was
Shattered to pieces
Gathering altogether their adventures and experiences
Safety in herself locking them inside
Moments of joy and sorrow
There to abide
She knew she’d fine him up above
Looking down at her with his childish smirk
It was the funeral nonetheless
The scent of the flowers landed the rest
The harmony playing in the background
Tears of pity and remembrance all around
But when she stood there to pay her respect
Roses in her hands and a neat black dress
Pyramid proud more than ever
All she could do looking down at his grave
Was smile back at him, being brave
His stories of war flew across the ears
Listening around, but hers int
Knowing deep in her heart
Not in presence but in love,
He was never truly apart.

FRIENDSHIP



You laugh, you share,
As a shoulder to support and hand to hold,
You are always there.
We jump and we hop,
Falling along the way,
Picking each other and pulling us back
Together always we stay.
We live in our fantasies,
We love and we lease.
To the rest of the world,
Crazy may we seem
But at least we are together, sharing the same dream
I trust you to help me
On every path of the way,
Fight and argue but forgive every day,
Never judge or comment,
But mostly, to make my fears go away,
To this friendship, I commit.
In laughter and sorrow,
A promise full fit.

WHAT LIFE IS TO ME



Life should to beautiful
As graceful and joyful,
As free and loving,
As fearless and caring
Chasing your goal,
Discovering, the unknown
Being honest and respectful,
Doing all that’s blissful
Laughing along the way,
Falling on the ground, you lay,
Picking yourself and packing in your dreams everyday
Not the end but the journey is to crave,
Time is a friend,
It makes life worthy or a disgrace,
Be charitable, be happy,
Be responsible for your today
Living is to be in reality
Embracing all the perks and faults,
Everything is what it seems,
That is life if it were a dream

A FARMER’S LIFE



The sun was shining classically,
The wind was blowing peacefully as narrated always,
The trees danced on the beats of the beautiful spring morning,
The weather was to be cherished
Fertility and richness spread till far in all directions
And solace knocked on the door of every hut.

The farmer had a glow on his face
His daughter would go to school that day
It was not a smile he felt the weight of the way
It was some satisfaction that come
He ploughed till his hand begun to hurt
He walked till his bare legs burnt
His head band was soaked in sweat
His shoulder dropped from the burden of his debt
But with all said
He continued dely to be able to afford his daily breed

Life is hard till the end
But even the end is hard to get
But living for in this world full of worry,
There miseries don’t end with those you every
He leaves not only his memory behind,
But also helpless families alone inthis world, blind,
No male, no money, more sorrow and hidden penny,
He was in unimaginable plain
His daily prayer were for some merciful rain
Even during the best days
The tedious jobs still remain
Not appreciated, never thanked
The file of a farmer hangs finely on the usability of a piece of land

Every day is new
Sunny and blue
Every night is bright
Overcast with shining stars in the light/with starlight
Every song is blessed
Birds chirping in their nest
Every dew drops
Nourishing the mildew of summer crops
The sun’s rays reflect
The innocence the pleasant winds get
The innocence and joy
Like that of the poor farm boy
The farm boy who know not more
Than the happiness of the warmth after a good down pour
This meant business
It was time to ready the truck
God finally graced upon him, some good luck
But luck never stands
And pain never leaves
Down came the thunder to strike him with greire
Lord knows what would happen
It was his way of punishing men
For all their greed and gold
Wrapped around their hearts stone cold
But there he was, just a boy
Left alone to tend
In front of god’s wrath he had to bend
In terms of money, he had none
In terms of food
He could make do on state bun
Only a few more days he promised himself
Although the nights felt like years in themselves
He sang himself to sleep
A song by his father about the daffodils and mountain to steep
All he had was a memory
A memory of his father singing of his sheep
It wasn’t much to weep
It was his choices which he reaped
In the depth of his young heart, he knew
A good man, his father
And would have survived
The hardships of a simple farmer’s life
But all the anger he lived
Ate him up much earlier
In his own despair he dived
The thought of his hardly crossed him mind
And all the hate with pitiness was bind
It hung around his neck
Strings knotted in a rope
Tied like a garland of lost hope
It was under badly sad
He was all his son ever had
But life went on
And time flew by
On remembering his misery, one could only but sigh
In the shacks by born that he built
Every night, his heir lay
The little boy trying hard not to die
Hunger was an often acquainted friend
His groaning stomach couldn’t take the pain
Life drove a hard bargain
Full of pure and cruel and more strain
A scarred childhood was the honesty of his life,
It was a never ending strife
Yet he fought on barely escaping the sounds
Like a wounded soldier on the marching grounds
He took to his heart the bullets of poverty
Throughout history, his scars ran deep
A small boy with the will of a man
Never letting go
He continued even till the end

THE EVENING SNOW @CHRISTMAS EVE



Hung along the streets,
The bright Christmas light.
There were snowy days and merry nights,
Thick coats of white enroabed the woods
While all the robin hoods,
Swept through the hidden farm house goods.
It was not a selfish pay,
But for the poor who pray.
The year had to end in glee,
All chapel bell ringing free,
The village gathering had begun,
New promises were to come.
Stopped before each house,
Air full of spirit and zeal,
And jolly people of the street
Wishing everyone a good night sleep.
Prayers flew and laughter cheered
Still miles ahead, hope geared,
Joined all around the frozen lake,
Waiting for the first christmas
Day snow flake.

BREAKING AWAY



You know we’ll be legends
When they call out our names
To the depth of our desires
Fire will rage
Not knowing In a world changing by by the second,
We will be embraced what comes tomorrow
We fall ahead
Full throttle and hearts pumping
Mere adventures await
Expectations break us down
But curiosity burlds us back
In the desert of the unknown, we lure
Afraid of our fears back we curl
But it is the greed for a new challenge
That keeps us sunning
Mixed up in our own imaginations
We keep improving
Every journey scars us
With memories that makes us who we are
Chasing away our fears
Facing our etstades
Believing in ourselves, accepting what we see
That is life breaking free

MY DEVILS




I am by my own conscience a fetter,
My deeds have made me nothing better.
It is my choice whether to change,
But my will is what remains.
Yesterday was fine, today is the same
Tomorrow is the only thing that can be arranged,
But change is not always better,
Fruits don’t grow on all trees,
I am not good
But good is a perspective,
My luck was never repaying,
But luck is a fickle mind’s playing
My condition was poor,
In faith, I wasn’t any truer.
I am in guilt but I am with reason so.
I am in dread of what I have become,
A man with no morals, silent and numb.
As a young man, I promised myself I would stand on my cost,
Age brings desperation, my principles lost.
It is the need not the want that I must,
The need to be able to stand in society,
Flying in the sky, above the hard crust.
I had to succeed,
Failure wasn’t an option, call it greed.
I gave parts of me away on the way,
Losing more in morality than I gained
A part of me always tried to judge the right from the wrong,
But in vain, a poor man I was no long
Now, a rich man standing strong
I am in dread of what I have become,
A man with no morals, silent and numb.

In expense today, I am a man of credit
Respected for my hard-earned merit,
But society shades away the dark secrets,
Concealing it behind its perfect titles.
I am forgotten as a man of ambition and honesty,
But pay no pity; my actions have made me wealthy.
Riches in its fame is tempting,
But the name itself is unforgiving,
It sheds you of every drop of pride,
Changes your character, strengthens your personality.
Because today, life is an unending strife,
Every opportunity has a price.
It is a battle where every warrior tries,
One emerges victorious and everyone else is left behind.
They can beg, they can pray, they can cry,
But that is the ruthlessness of today’s life
That is the price I paid for my throne,
The bargain I made, sacrifices at the time unknown.
I am in dread of what I have become,
A man with no morals, silent and numb.

Even a rotting plant once was growing green,
Spreading gardens everywhere it gleamed.
Even a criminal once had a mother,
Who held him to her chest praying for him no suffer.
Even a wicked man once had a smile,
One he wore every family night.
I have no one dear,
No one I trust, no one I consider near,
It is my era,
I am a worshiped man of power
But loyalty is faithless,
For out of fear it is worthless.
I am in dread of what I have become,
A man with no morals, silent and numb.

I am what my conditions have driven me to be,
I am who my own people wanted me to be,
I am who people desire to be,
But I am not who I choose to be.
I have a constant burden,
With the duties and expectations of today
With the cruel criticisms, I am laden.
I wish to be honest, subtle and fair.
Remarking this world as a stage not a devil’s lair.
But today is a race and so is tomorrow,
A challenge to be faced,
In joy or in sorrow,
I can choose to stop,
To fall back in grace,
Or I can choose to fight,
To win in hate.

I choose to play,
I choose to race,
Because that is what the world has made me today,
A disgrace to integrity and honor,
An inspiration among modern men
Creeping up in the dark shadows of treachery and betrayal,
Merciless, we crawl ahead,
Man is a greedy monster.
A wrong step, and down with him, you he takes,
I’d rather be a worthless man in this sick world of today
Than a worthy boy living in yesterdays grace
For in today’s times, money pays,
Not honor that is but a reputation to praise
I will always be in dread of what I have chosen to become,
A man with no morals, silent,v wealthy and numb.